tried several avenues to abate my nervous energy today:
1. went grocery shopping
2. cooked cellophane noodles
3. cooked nian gao (didn't win any beauty contests, but it was freaking delicious)
4. attempted to draw
i ended up eating dinner at 4:30 pm (b/c i had nothing better do to) and consumed 1/3 cup of dark brown sugar and 200 ml of sticky rice flour (nian gao) over the next three hours. BAD IDEA. i now have the j-j-jitters from sugar withdrawal.
anyway, i really did attempt to draw something of relative substance to drag myself through a long day, but i just couldn't do it. i've been playing with a new concept for a painting but i froze. a brief phone conversation blocked everything i had planned. couldn't draw. couldn't focus. had to keep myself busy somehow so i decided (or maybe it was the sugar) to actively disregard my own nagging standards of "taste" and just draw something completely masturbatory for the sake of drawing. (fell back on a few old themes/design choices so i didn't have to think too much. god, i miss my sewing machine.)
ended up looking like an asian audrey hepburn + beheading piece, but i initially had Sargent's "Madam X" in mind (or i really just want a black dress with a plunging neckline). the blue variation is the original, the second is an adjusted version.
thumbnail sketch:
i also normally don't do personal work on the computer. that's my day job. at home, i try to maintain my grips on real media. today was an exception.
post four emergency doses of red bean candy and a second cellular installation, the jitters are gone...but i'm left with an insatiable need for salt. i'm recognizing my lack of savory snacks, staring at a packet of soy sauce, and wondering how one defines a "good idea."
i'm just realizing how frantic this post appears.
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